


Live By Love, Though The Stars Walk Backwards

by idratherhaveyou



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Healing, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 05:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13629690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idratherhaveyou/pseuds/idratherhaveyou
Summary: Keith struggles to understand where he fits into the life he's created on Earth after the war against the Galra is over.





	Live By Love, Though The Stars Walk Backwards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kissmesexybatman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissmesexybatman/gifts).



> I don't really know how to describe this. It's largely plotless, it's a lot of Keith angsting, but it's also a lot of Keith and Lance falling back on each other. They're married, which is fun.  
> Oh, whatever, I'm done trying to sell it. It's for Camille anyway.  
> Incidentally, happy birthday, my dear. A little early. Whatever. I don't know why this in particular is for you, but I wrote it with you in mind and I came up with it while thinking about you, so it's yours. I love you and I miss you and I would go into excruciating detail about how much here, but I wrote you a letter so we good.  
> I hope you like it. I think it's pretty good. Solid B.  
> Title is from ee cummings, "dive for dreams".

It was a quiet morning, still, the only sound the lapping of the waves on the distant shore, but it wasn’t enough to still the racing of Keith’s heart or the itch under his skin.

This time, it hadn’t even been a nightmare. Whatever it _had_ been had already leaked away, but in his gut, Keith knew he hadn’t been here. He hadn’t been on Earth. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be this phantom itch, this desire for something more, this not-too-gentle reminder that his life had been less mundane.

Adjusting his legs, tucking them underneath his body, hoping that would still their need to run, Keith sipped his coffee and focused on the sun rising, the world slowly flooding with pale yellow light.

The porch creaked behind and Keith didn’t even look. Switching his coffee to his left hand, he extended it out, holding the handle loosely and waiting. The ceramic slid against his skin as the mug was gently lifted from his grasp.

“Whatcha doing?” Lance asked, slurping noisily.

“I’m fine.”

“Yep, that’s definitely what the empty and cold side of your bed told me. It was like, ‘Hey, Lance, don’t bother. He just got up an hour early for a sunset.’”

Rolling his eyes, Keith yawned. “Can’t you go back to bed?”

“Nope, I’m up.”

Nodding, Keith held out his hand and felt a small roll of warmth in his stomach as his mug was returned. The warmth was a constant, but it was like the tides, ebbing and flowing. It was often the only thing that kept him tethered, that kept his mind from dismantling itself brick by brick, that kept him from seeking out an adventure that would actually kill him this time.

Some days, like today, it was barely enough.

“You can, you know.”

“What?” Keith asked, looking over at Lance with his sleepy eyes and bare feet.

“Go.” The words _somewhere, anywhere_ , were unspoken but understood.

“I might not come back,” Keith said, not because it was true, but because it might have been, once, and right now, all of him was lingering in the past, chasing after shadows.

The corners of Lance’s mouth quirked. “Whatever you say, Keith.”

“What, because you’re so irresistible?”

“ _Obviously_.”

Keith snorted into his coffee.

“Well, someone couldn’t get enough of me a couple days ago.”

“That was four nights ago.”

“Fuck, was it?”

“Remember it that fondly, huh?” Keith asked, smiling. There was a sharp jab to his shoulder and then Lance stepped into Keith’s view of the sunset. The glint of light reaching them here fringed Lance’s hair and made his brown skin glow. Though Keith didn’t see sunsets every day and saw Lance’s face most hours of the day, this was still an equal, if not better, view.

He was just so familiar. Unconsciously, he reached out to touch and Lance made it easier, moving closer and kneeling, staring Keith dead in the eye. More gently than he did most things in life, Keith ran his fingertips down Lance’s cheek.

“You’ll come back,” Lance said. This routine was largely familiar. It was not, by far, the only time Keith had felt like this, but usually, Lance stopped at some rendition of “I’m irresistible.” This was off script. This was new.

“Yeah,” Keith whispered, looking down at his lap, only knowing for sure that he wasn’t going to leave and unsure what else to say. Two years. It had been two years since the threat of the Galra had been nullified and he and Lance had come back here, beaten and weary, ready for a break.

It was more than a break, though, and Keith hadn’t started to deal with that until recently. There were lots of things he didn’t know how to do anymore and go about living a normal life? That was one of them. He hadn’t even been doing that _before_ he’d become a member of Voltron.

This…sitting, waiting, when he didn’t even really know what he was waiting for, it was slowly destroying him. Keeping his eyes focused downwards, he said, “I just feel useless here. Caged. Pointless. And I had a dream that reminded me.”

“You’d forgotten?”

Blinking, Keith paused, finding where Lance had gotten that question from. “I, well…sometimes I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

“Me neither,” Lance replied, trailing a finger down a nasty scar on Keith’s cheek, one that hadn’t faded even a little since he’d gotten it, in the last throes of war, and didn’t look as though it ever would. “Most of the time, in fact.”

“Yeah.” Smiling, Keith took grasped Lance’s hand, the one still tracing his scar, and kissed the back of it. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. We’re both off work. Wanna kick it at the beach?”

“‘Kick it?’”

“Ugh, god, I’m talking like you again.”

“Wanna know what I think?”

“No. Dropping it sounds like a lot more fun,” Keith replied.

“I bet it does, but I’ve thought about this a lot, because, sometimes, you know, I kind of do that thing where I spiral and can’t _stop_ thinking. And, also, I want my family to understand me again someday so that they can look me in the eye, and I thought maybe if I understood what really happened up there, I’d be able to do that. Point is, you’re gonna listen because you signed up for it the day you married me. Hell, kissed me and declared your undying love for me.”

“I didn’t say ‘undying,’” Keith mumbled. “And I’d kind of thought you were dead, so…”

“Keith, baby, it doesn’t matter.”

Frowning, Keith said, “You feel useless?”

“Dude, we saved the universe. This is the after. So, yeah, course I do. We aren’t ever gonna do something like that again.”

“Oh. I just thought…”

“I know what you thought,” Lance laughed warmly. “To be fair, it’s probably a lot worse for you. I’m at least kind of familiar with this whole normal life thing.”

Keith shrugged.

“Right, so, here’s what I think. I think that we were kids. I think that we did a lot of really important growing up while fighting a war, where we, like, killed people—well, aliens—and I think it fucked all of us up. It wasn’t good. It was the right thing to do, but it wasn’t good for us. There’s scars here,” Lance said, tracing Keith’s scar again, “and there’s scars here.” At that, he laid a palm flat over Keith’s heart.

“I can’t believe you just said that to me.”

“Focus, Keith.”

“That was really cheesy.”

“This is profound stuff!”

Laughing, Keith nodded. “Okay, okay. Continue. Please.”

“Uh…okay, okay I remember. So, point is, it’s all still there. Clearly. We both have nightmares, we both can’t really get our shit together, we both ache for something that could’ve and probably should’ve literally fucking killed us and now we’re here.”

“No shit.”

“Babe, don’t make me beat you.”

“I’m about ready to beat you,” Keith mumbled.

“A) You’re on. B) Not right now, because I’m still talking. I just think that in a lot of ways, we’re still in that goddamn war with the Galra and that we will be for a long time. But, the best way we can fight now, the best way we can tell the Galra to go fuck themselves, is if we live an actual life and we live it good.”

“Great.”

“Hey, at least we’ve got a really good start going.”

“We do?” Keith asked.

“Don’t we?” There was more than a tinge of hurt and insecurity in the question and Keith took a deep breath, reminding himself he couldn’t say things like that, even if it was hard for him to imagine any part of his life leading to a place where he didn’t constantly feel like this. Not to Lance, who had an alarming tendency to hear and give credence to the bad things.

“Yeah.”

“You sure?Because I know we moved here so I could be close to my family and that you hardly get to see the rest of the team anymore and that we haven’t really talked about it, because you don’t like to talk and I’ve been kind of scared that you do hate it and that…”

“Lance,” Keith interrupted, leaning forward and kissing him once on the mouth. “I’m sure.”

“Okay. Good.”

Smiling, Keith gave his coffee back to Lance and trailed his eyes back to a sunrise that was over, the sun fully above the horizon. Some of the itch had lessened, becoming something that was slightly distracting but didn’t need to be scratched. Below him, Lance got comfortable, sitting on the porch and leaning back against Keith’s chair. Placing a hand in Lance’s hair, Keith absentmindedly stroked it. For the better part of an hour, that was all they did, the coffee running dry halfway through. Keith had considered getting up and pouring more, the mug just inside their little bungalow that was painted a rather horrifying shade of blue, but this was the best he’d felt all morning. They were in an oh so fragile bubble and almost anything could break it.

It was starting to get warm and humid, the reminder they were living somewhere tropical finally reaching them. Soon enough, Keith was going to need different clothes—less of them—and some shade. There was a needle approaching their bubble.

“We could run away together,” Lance whispered.

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to leave alone.”

Smiling, Keith kissed the top of Lance’s head. “I don’t need to go anywhere.”

“You do. Maybe we both do.”

“Lance, it’s not…”

“Why do you have to do everything alone?”

Sighing, Keith said, “I came here, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but we both know that’s because you had nowhere else to go. Which, wow, I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to say that.”

Kneeing Lance in the back, Keith rose from the chair, his lightweight blanket slipping from his shoulders and falling down to the seat of the chair. Taking the coffee cup, he padded inside to their small kitchen, and hand washed the mug clean, setting it on a towel, before going to his and Lance’s bedroom and slipping out of his pajama pants, leaving him in boxers. Then, he switched his sweatshirt to a tank top. Flinging his clothes into the hamper Lance insisted he use, Keith went into their bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

It was true that he’d had nowhere else to go. But that wasn’t why he’d come to live with Lance. The truth was, leaving was easy for Keith. Leaving before getting left was so much easier than the alternative. But he hadn’t been able to leave Lance. The very idea of being without him, even for a day, was unbearable. More unbearable than all of the other unbearable things he was bearing.

That was why he had come to Cuba. That was why he was living in a place like this, fifteen minutes from Lance’s parents, and five from a massive tourist resort. That was why he’d had to adjust to shorts and frequent family visits—Lance’s family loved to drop in unannounced—and grocery shopping and coordinated schedules and an uninteresting, but largely harmless job.

All added together, those sacrifices, they were nothing. In Keith’s head, they weren’t even sacrifices, they were just small adjustments, adaptations. They were all a part of having Lance in his life, something that had brought a lot more than it had taken away.

All this time, Keith had been sure getting married to Lance had made all that clear. Actions were how he communicated.

Cursing low, Keith tapped the side of his head with two fingers and murmured, “Why can’t you be fucking normal?”

Flicking off the bathroom light, Keith returned to the patio to find Lance gone. Their bungalow was small. He would’ve seen Lance if he was indoors, which meant he had wandered off somewhere.

They both did it. It was easy to wander off in Cuba, easy to find something to occupy your time, easy to get away and get a break, but Keith hated when Lance did it after a fight. Or whatever that had been. Less a fight and more of a misunderstanding.

Shaking his head, Keith went back indoors and started packing.

 

Keith was halfway through making a couple of sandwiches, loading Lance’s with a disgusting amount of mustard, when arms wound low around his waist and breath puffed in his ear. “I’m sorry,” Lance whined. “I shouldn’t have said that to my husband. That’s quite a commitment for someone who just needed something to do with his life.”

“You talked to Pidge, didn’t you?”

“No?”

“Uh huh.”

“Keith…”

“Oh, shut up, you weren’t even in trouble,” Keith said, cutting the sandwich in half and slipping it into a ziploc bag. “Now, go pack, so I don’t have to do that for you, too.”

“Pack?”

“What, you’re gonna run away without any provisions? That’s how you die.”

“We…you…I’m confused.”

Rolling his eyes, Keith turned in Lance’s arms, counter digging into his lower back. “I thought you weren’t gonna make me go alone.”

After a beat, Lance grinned. It was Keith’s favorite smile. Slightly surprised, slightly amused, and altogether delighted. “Can’t get away from me, babe,” Lance said with a wink.

“You’re telling me.”

“So where are we going?”

“Surprise.”

“Wow, you really are spoiling me,” Lance said.

Lifting his hand, Keith cupped Lance’s cheek in his hand and ran his thumb along Lance’s lower lip. “I don’t do it nearly enough,” he whispered.

“No, you’re not supposed to be feeling guilty. That’s my job right now.”

“Why are you so exhausting?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “I’m exhausting? Have you met you? I try to apologize and you pretend I have nothing to apologize for.”

“Hey, I was the one who questioned if this was good.”

“That’s because you’re you. It’s not like I expect anything else.”

“Jesus, Lance,” Keith said. “You’re allowed to demand more of me.”

“Goes both ways, my dude. Besides, it was just a morning. They happen.”

“It _was_ kind of a bad morning.”

Lance nodded sagely. “Are we done talking now? Because I kind of want to kiss you.”

“You’re the one who talks so much.”

“You have your moments, _cariño._ ”

“You’re supposed to be packing, anyway.”

Leaning in close, Lance brushed his lips against the corner of Keith’s mouth. “Packing can wait.”

“We’ve got a flight to catch.”

Shrugging, Lance said, “Any good running away doesn’t have a schedule,” and then he pressed his lips to Keith’s. Tilting his head back, Keith smiled into it, immediately caught up in the push and pull, the warmth low in his stomach, the easy comfort that came with knowing how Lance kissed and knowing what he liked. In a lot of ways, they’d been doing this so long, but also for hardly any time at all. It was when he was kissing Lance, when his thoughts were loose and lost, uncaringly so, that Keith could see the stretch of their lives, could see them doing this, pressed up against this very counter, in twenty years, thirty. Not only could he see it, but he could feel it, as though it were inevitable, fate. And he didn’t even believe in fate.

Lance was the one to break the kiss, tilting their foreheads together. Softly, he whispered, “Hey, you know I love you, right?”

Keith nodded.

“And that I don’t, for a second, regret marrying you?”

“Yeah.”

“And that you could do whatever you need to do for however long and I’d still love you? Like, I was there too, babe. I know how hard it is to move on from the war. And I know you’re different from me, that your battles are your own.”

“I know.”

“Excellent,” Lance smiled. “I’m gonna go pack now.”

“You won’t need anything for cold weather. Or rain. Or, I don’t know, eighty percent of whatever scenarios you come up with.”

“Still gonna pack for them.”

Keith rolled his eyes and laughed. Lance laughed, too, shooting Keith a smile over his shoulder and stripping off his shirt as he did, letting Keith get a glance of the smooth skin and lean muscles of his back, before he disappeared into their room. Thinking back on the conversation, Keith winced. Quickly finishing up his last sandwich, he found a pen and some paper, both in places he had not put them away, and scribbled out, “I love you, too. Marrying you was the best day of my life.” Carefully, he tucked it into the plastic bag with Lance’s sandwich. Sometimes, he could do better. Not today, though. Being emotionally frayed was not ideal for vulnerability.

 

“Are we going to be back in time for work?” Lance asked, as their plane lifted off the tarmac.

“Bit late for that, don’t you think?”

“Keith, what does that mean?”

“Hey, don’t blame me. You wanted to run away.”

“Keith,” Lance whined, resting his head on Keith’s shoulder. “Stop being mean.”

“No, but I called in for you.”

“On the phone?”

“On the phone.”

“That’s a lot of planning for running away,” Lance said.

“You’re welcome.”

Gently, Lance kissed him on the neck. He got more comfortable, making lots of irritating, albeit adorable, noises, and then murmured, “Wake me up when we’re there.”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna brood the whole time?”

“I don’t brood.”

“Wake me up if it gets too dark in that head of yours,” Lance said.

“Fine.”

“Promise?”

Sighing, Keith held out a pinky. It was, even now, the only promise that held any weight with Lance. A warm pinky slid along his and then locked in, shaking once. Lance didn’t immediately retract his finger, instead using it to trace down Keith’s pinky to the center of his palm. “This is absolutely crazy,” he said. “This is the kind of thing people say they’re gonna do and never do.”

“I’m not one of those people.”

“I know. I love it about you. Hey, guess what?”

“Weren’t you sleeping?”

“Guess what?”

Laughing exasperatedly, Keith said, “What?”

“Our house is near that beach somewhere,” Lance said, pointing.

Looking out the window, Keith nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“See you soon, home.”

Smiling, Keith turned from the house. They hadn’t really left it since they’d moved on. There had been finding jobs, getting married, getting acquainted—in Lance’s case, reacquainted—with Lance’s family, battling through long nights and even longer days. They’d never had the chance. But as they flew further away, the beach getting smaller and smaller, giving way to blue, Keith thought he understood why people got so worked up about home. He might even miss theirs.

 

“Hey, wake up.”

“…Too dark?”

“Something like that.”

“Wanna hear about my dream?”

“Okay.”

“So I was inside a video game and Frodo was there.”

“I’m not sure I need to hear anymore.”

“Great, because I don’t remember a lot else. I had a sword. A really awesome one. And I think there was a dragon and it might’ve been made out of metal? Like, clockwork, you know. Except pixelated because, like I said, in a video game. Oh! Hunk was there, too. He had one of those weapons with like a stick and a chain and a spiky ball. You know the one.”

“Flail.”

“Yeah, that. And he definitely knew how to use it. It was very impressive. I should text him about it.”

“Go for it.”

“Sadly, my love, you weren’t there.”

“Tragic.”

“It is tragic! You would’ve looked totally hot in whatever armor you would’ve been wearing. I’m pretty sure we were all wearing armor.”

“Mm.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“I kind of thought you’d be in a good mood, man.”

“I’m just not sure if this is a good idea.”

“Yep. Probably should’ve seen this coming.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re not known for your foresight.”

“Why did I wake you up?”

“Because you love me.”

“I do.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“You sure? You don’t even know where we’re going.”

“Who cares? You’ve got me.”

 

It was incredible, really, how long it took for Lance to realize where they were going. They were halfway through their drive into the Sonoran desert when he finally understood. Eyes going wide, he said, “Oh my god, really? Is Pidge there?”

“Pidge is there.”

“Are we gonna see her?”

“Well, we’re bunking with her tonight, so I’d think so.”

“Wow, this is kind of weird. I didn’t think we’d be coming back here this soon.”

Keith had to agree. But this felt like something he needed to do. Return to the Garrison. It was the only place he could think of where he could face what he had been a part of for a significant part of his life. They were lucky they were even getting access. If Pidge hadn’t been working there, they would’ve been screwed.

A half hour later, they’d arrived, security letting them through without any issues. When they stepped out of the car, Pidge was waiting for them, looking almost exactly the same, head buried in a screen. Her hair was a little longer and tied back and she’d grown taller, but it was undeniably her.

Without a beat, Lance ran towards her, shouting her name. Keith followed at a walk, smiling down at the ground. This right here was worth the trip. Making Lance that happy was one of the few worthy causes in life.

By the time he got to them, Lance was blubbering and Pidge was patting his back awkwardly. “Oh thank god. Keith, hi. Get your husband off me.”

“Probably couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

Pidge glowered at him over Lance’s shoulder. “Alright, Lance, get it together.”

Pulling away only to jump up and down, Lance said, “Fuck, I’m so happy to see you. How’s life? What have you been up to? Made any new discoveries? Is Matt here? Have you seen Hunk recently because he does not text me nearly enough and I really need to…”

“Jesus, Lance, we can have a proper slumber party later. I’ll even find some popcorn and sleeping bags.”

“I’d prefer a bed,” Keith said.

“Yeah, you can have mine,” Pidge replied. “I’ll just be up all night gossiping with this loser, anyway.”

“Can we watch _Legally Blonde_?”

“Fine,” Pidge said. Then she turned to Keith. “So, we’re in the clear. I maybe didn’t ask all the people I needed to, but whatever. I’ve done some minor hacking and really, I don’t know why they’d care, anyway, because they’re definitely still ours. I went and visited Green, like, two days ago. Again, not strictly allowed, so maybe don’t mention it.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Keith glared at the building behind Pidge. “I knew we shouldn’t have given the lions to them.”

“Where else were you going to put them?”

“Anywhere else!”

Rolling her eyes, Pidge said, “Yeah, well, Hunk would agree with you. He’s kind of stolen Yellow and I kind of haven’t told anyone. They really shouldn’t have left me in charge of them, but no one else here knows how to take care of them, so they didn’t really have an option. All I had to do was mention it was the most powerful weapon in the universe and they were interested in keeping them operational.”

“He stole Yellow?” Lance asked, voice awed and impressed.

“To visit Shay.” Pidge rolled her eyes again.

“Wow. I’ve got such a cool best friend.”

“Damn straight,” Pidge grinned.

“Can we get this show on the road?” Keith asked.

“Yeah, yeah. Follow me.”

 

The sun had almost set by the time they got to the hangar where the lions were stored. Yellow wasn’t there and neither was Black. A small pang shot through Keith’s heart. Somewhere out there, Shiro was helping Allura rebuild what was left of the planets that survived the war. It was the other life he could’ve lived, staying with Shiro and doing what he could to help. The days where the itch got really bad, he wished he had. To this day, it had been the hardest decision he’d ever made.

Lance came up beside him. “You’ll see him again, Keith. I know you will. He loves you.”

Looking over at Lance, Keith saw only calm determination. Carefully, he slipped his fingers in between Lance’s and clenched tightly. Lance squeezed back. Then he leaned in close and whispered, “Hey, I got your note, by the way. Right back at you, babe.”

At that, Keith grinned. “I’m going to go say hi to Red.”

Lance’s eyes sparkled, mischievous and childish, and he ran over to Blue, immediately hugging her leg. Though Keith couldn’t hear what he was saying, Keith was sure he was babbling incessantly about everything that had happened since they’d last seen each other.

Approaching Red, Keith reached out and found that indescribable connection. He didn’t say anything to her and she didn’t say anything to him, but they were both happy to see each other. There wasn’t any hesitation in her acceptance of him.

When he reached the cockpit, he sat in the pilot’s chair and slowly ran his hands over everything they could touch. It felt like coming home. Here, he was comfortable and happy.

When he heard Lance’s voice crackle over the com, it only got better. “Is Pidge letting us fly these things?”

“Yeah,” Keith said. “Quick trip, though. I just wanted to hang in space for awhile.”

Lance laughed. “Man, I love that we can just hang in space.”

Then, Pidge’s voice was there. “Alright, the hangar is open. Have fun, guys.”

“Thanks, Pidgeotto.”

“Anytime.”

Then they were off.

 

There were stars. Endless stars. And there was Earth in all its glory. On the com, Lance was laughing and cheering and Keith was almost positive he hadn’t been happier. The itch was gone.

The burst of happiness was short lived.

All it took was the sight of Blue speeding away.

Logically, Keith knew Lance was safe, that he wasn’t going far, that he’d come right back if Keith called him, but his brain didn’t seem to care about logic right now. He was frozen, Red was trying to figure out was wrong, and Keith knew his apprehension on the plane had been justified.

Because, all of a sudden, he was back, back to the war, back to the final days, in the last throes of the Galra empire. He was back to the day that featured in nightmares.

It was just flashes and sounds, hardly anything to grasp. Lance screaming, Lance’s prone body on the floor of Red, Shiro surrounded by Galra, lights, so many lights, frantic voices. It felt the end of the goddamn world all over again. Everyone was dying, Keith was surrounded, and there was nothing he could do.

He’s stuck in time, out of body, and he can’t get out. He can’t get out. He can’t get out.

“…Keith! Come on, talk to me, please. Goddammit. Keith, okay, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need you to breathe. In an out. Come on, breathe with me. I’m gonna make it nice and loud so you can hear.”

No, that’s not right. Lance is making it sound like he’s dying. But Lance is dying. Lance is on the floor, right over there, and he’s bleeding, and Keith is trying to get him back to the Castle as fast as he can, leaving behind a battle he really shouldn’t leave behind and…

“In and out, babe.”

“Lance,” Keith gasped, “are you…are you okay?”

“Yeah, darling, I’m just fine. Everything’s fine. We’re just above Earth. The Galra are gone. We’re out for a pleasure flight, okay? Are you breathing with me?”

Closing his eyes, Keith focused as hard as he could and he managed to catch the slow rhythmic sounds of Lance breathing. Doing his best to match it, Keith felt the past drain away, the images with him, until gradually, slowly, everything was back the way it was supposed to be.

God, he was so tired. So, so tired.

“I’m going back,” he mumbled.

“Kay, I’m right behind you.”

“No, you should…”

“I’m right behind you,” Lance said, his voice steel. Keith didn’t protest again.

 

Keith didn’t remember getting back to the hangar or stumbling out of Red. He just knew he was out. Breathing in air, air from his home planet, a place the Galra hadn’t touched, Keith felt himself trickle back into place. When he saw Lance, a couple hundred feet away from him, he ran, not caring about what it looked like. Crashing into Lance’s arms, he held on hard. Now, this, this was home.

“Hey,” Lance whispered. “What happened up there?”

“You were dying.”

“Oh, right. Shit. Let’s not do that again, okay?”

Keith nodded, remembering viscerally, in a way he hadn’t for some time, why he hadn’t stayed up in the universe with Shiro and Allura. There had been a night, the night he’d decided, where he’d been falling apart, pieces breaking off that he knew he wouldn’t be able to gather and put together himself. And Lance, just free from his healing pod, had come into his room and had done it for him.

That night, he’d chosen himself. He’d chosen love and the opportunity to heal and the chance to build a life that wasn’t going to take more than he could give, because he was the type of person that gave until there was absolutely nothing left.

“I can’t…I can’t go back up there.”

“We’re both in agreement there, buddy.”

“I can’t…” Keith trailed off, a door closing in his brain. That was a part of his life that was over. How he hadn’t realized it before, he had no idea, but he wasn’t going to ever go back to wielding a sword and traversing the galaxy and fighting for his life and that was probably a good thing.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Lance whispered, stroking his hair. “I know you wanted that to work, but it’s gonna be fine. You’re gonna be fine. I promise.” Stepping out of the hug, keeping one hand on Keith’s waist, grounding him, Lance held out his pinky. “Pinky promise.”

Reaching out, Keith locked their pinkies together and didn't let go.


End file.
